Dragon jokes:

How to housebreak your new pet dragon: invest into asbestos curtains in case of accidental sneezes.

How to housebreak your new pet dragon: purchase a 5500 gallon drum of those curvy & bumpy “Damsel Chews” treats.

How to keep your new house dragon healthy: buy him only the dragon kibble that contains parts of extra-lean knights.

Fairytale jokes:

Before kissing Sleeping Beauty, Prince Hypochondriac wiped her down thoroughly with disinfecting wipes.

The wedding between Beauty and the Beast was called off, because Beauty was allergic to animal hair.

Cinderella’s Fairy God Mother was cheap; that’s why her glass slipper turned back into a pickle jar.

After transforming a frog back into Prince, Princess left him – who’d want slimy kisses followed by warts?

After blowing at the houses of the 3 little pigs, the Big Bad Wolf hyperventilated & fainted. That winter the 3 little pigs wore very warm fur hats and hoof mittens.

After Prince kissed Sleeping Beauty, he immediately fled the castle – after 100 years of sleeping, she had one hell of a morning breath!

Red Riding Hood thought the wolf in a bonnet was her grandma; the wolf refused to eat her for fear of losing IQ points from such a dumb meal.

Annoying people jokes:

How to annoy ppl: Send ’em a note claiming to be their long-lost rich uncle that wants to leave ’em a large inheritance.

How to annoy ppl: Call ’em at 3 a.m. to tell them that u finally found a missing button from your dress pants.

Cat jokes:

A writer’s cat always knows when the tea in the mug on the desk is cool enough to slurp and thus claim the scribbler’s tea for its own.